butterfly. babies. love.

so i'm not going to lie, as of late, there have been some frustrating moments raising the girls... two toddlers who are competitive, curious, strong-willed, smart, and loud are wonderful, but those characteristics definitely present their own challenges. they throw tantrums - kicking and screaming, or they suddenly start crying, and this can often be set off by the tiniest thing... the wrong cup, her sister got to do something first, someone answered a question correctly before she did, her food is not arranged properly on her plate, wrong socks, wrong pants, wrong shirt, the weather was rainy, rocky won't sit, rocky won't lick her hand, rocky won't shake her hand, rocky won't stay, wrong colored crayon, the stars in her bedroom are off and then the stars are on, her sticker doesn't stick anymore, she got reprimanded for not listening, she had to be put in a time-out... and even with all the mystery and confusion, there are so so many things that i love a...

for the past few days in class, our students have been watching the amazingly moving and touching film, life is beautiful . it is an incredibly eloquent cinematic masterpiece that speaks to the sadness of the holocaust, and yet so beautifully highlights and illustrates the love and devotion of a man for his family. in the end, somehow, his love wins. despite all odds, he never stops loving or laughing or painting this image of a beautiful life for his child. in previous years, i have always focused on guido, the main character. he is charming and humorous and silly and so positive in the face of such cruelty. i have, at times, focused on dora, the wife, who is dedicated and silently strong, open and willing to fall in love and to follow love wherever it may take her. a woman who embraces a spontaneous and powerful love. but since the girls have been born, and especially this year, i focus on joshua - the beautiful wide-eyed child who is shielded from some of the dar...

so... the girls have a million names for everyone, and i just had to record a list, so that i could remember how ridiculous and repetitive and silly they are: for Rocky rocky nee-nee rockerbock rockel roccoli broccoli (that one they made up at 18 months.. witty, right?) cutie pie bud puppy friend sweetheart honey child buddy doogy doggy rockstar rocky boo boo sweetie pie best friend for Daddy daddy nee nee dudda dada duddy deedee daddy mr. daddio (hilarious, btw) john samuel johnny mr. johnny best friend mommy's husband nee nee for Mommy mommy nee nee mummy mama mommy leesha beautiful mommy mama eesha sweet pea yunyo mama teacher linda boo boo mom mom mom mama leeler for each other biyah micai sissy sister friend twinny yunyo grandma (one of their favorites for each other) anna cutie baby eesha sweetie baby nee nee stinko bud sister spanky sweetie leesha best friend husband ( i know) the list grows longer ev...

today i am reflecting on the amazing blessings and promises of an all-powerful and Loving God. i see His Glory in so much around me and am reminded daily of His forgiving and sensitive nature. i think of how Viyah and Caiah have enriched my life and challenged me to press deeper into God for His wisdom and mercy and constant counsel.  i am in desperate need of His heart and His nature. i see how His Love has enveloped the girls' lives... how they pray for the most minor details and thank Him even for their hurt. they talk about what Jesus would want them to do and how He would be proud if they shared and were kind. their favorite type of music? "country... just kidding. Christian" they emphatically say. two years old and their favorite part of the week is Sunday morning church. they rush to get ready on time so that they can "praise Jesus" with mommy and daddy before going off to class. they love learning about God and the Bible and have already begun to ...

The winter did not bring the snow that we had hoped for. Clad in snowsuits and pink snow boots, the girls marched around our yard with barely an inch to examine, touch, hold, and throw. But we made the best of it, really. Spring is almost here. The sun is setting later and rising earlier, and the girls have noticed the change. I have noticed a million changes in them . They are more strong-willed than ever, changing the tone of their voice with pure purpose.  They appreciate their differences, though often crying for the same thing.  They are beginning to truly understand how powerful language and words are, how they can encourage and bring humor, how they can convey feelings of disappointment and hurt. They are constantly asking how things work and what someone is doing and why they are doing that thing at that very moment. They are finding parallels and drawing comparisons, intrigued by the differences in routine activities from day-to-day.  They ar...

12.16.12 i weep today. i weep for a world that has lost wide-eyed innocence, and will never see the potential, the beauty, the unique joy of so many bright children. i weep for you little ones who lost your lives to senseless violence to evils you never imagined to tragedies you never deserved. i weep for you who greeted each morning with joy and excitement and for you who ended each day clutching a teddy bear and whispering a prayer for you who filled your mommy’s heart with a special love for you who held the key to your daddy’s heart for you who was just learning to tie your shoe for you who was a big brother or a little sister or a younger brother or an older sister for you who had an angelic demeanor for you with the mischievous eyes for you with the endearingly crooked smile for you who looked forward to Christmas and cookies and snow for you who enjoyed the hot sun on summer days as you played and swam and ran. i weep fo...

i don't want to bring myself to face the fact that the summer is over. the summer was filled with so much excitement and joy. it was an amazing escape from stress and work and missing my girls during the day. i loved getting used to having them with me all day, and here i am transitioning again to full days and full weeks of work. i was never one to easily accept major change... but going from no children to two children just seemed so natural; and now, as the girls grow up, it seems that they learn and grow in this perfect balance of subtlety and progress. this summer started with the girls saying small phrases, and now they are having full conversations with mommy and daddy and always each other. they are counting to ten and love singing their abc's. they met their new cousin gideon and got to ride with rocky for their roadtrip to illinois! they have favorite phrases and favorite songs. they seem to pick up lyrics after hearing them for just the first time and have beco...