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a mother's love

baby linda kay
i never truly understood it before, because i could not.



a mother's love is one of the most special gifts in the world. to feel the love of a mother, and to feel love as a mother... i have experienced both and am so incredibly grateful for every memory and emotion that is brought on by these gifts.

my mommy came to visit last weekend. she flew in for one full day, really... and it was a visit that i will always be grateful for. she came simply to spend some time with her baby and her baby's babies. she came simply to encourage me and hug me and hold my girls and buy us lots of things...
pregnant - summer 2010

she somehow managed to cook me all my favorites before she got on the plane. in between taking care of little jonah and working at the hospital, she found the time to cook enough food to feed us for three days. she packed it all up and as i unloaded her suitcase it felt like christmas morning. of course i had ideas of cooking for her, but instead we feasted on the food that she brought - the food that i love and cherish from my childhood. how on earth she handled flying out to visit when she doesn't really get even one day out of the week for just her is beyond me. we tell her to relax more and to take some time for herself, but our whole lives it seemed that time for herself meant giving of herself.

my mother is the hardest working woman on the planet. she enjoys watching my nephew three days out of the week, and the other two days she still works as a registered nurse.  the weekends are mostly filled with either work, church, or family time... she never really stops. she has always kept going for as long as i can remember, and she has always had an unwavering faith in God and an undying commitment to her family.
with viy - feb 2012

with cai - june 2011
i know that no mother is perfect, and i am not saying that mine is. but i know that she tries her hardest.

i watched her last weekend as she held my babies in her arms and thought about how she once held me. sometimes when i am watching the girls and am so overwhelmed with love and gratitude for their lives, i think about how my mother must have felt the same way about me... and it is crazy. i was once her world just as these girls are now mine. i was her motivation for working long hours, cooking hot meals when she was so exhausted, putting up christmas lights outside in Illinois winters, hiding Easter baskets around the house on a Sunday morning before church, and spending countless hours in prayer.

when i look back on my childhood, now that i am a mother, i choose to remember the best parts. the parts that involve silly arguments, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations - i have analyzed them and discovered the misunderstood love and selfless desire from which those conflicts sprung. you see, i am beginning to understand how firece and unrelenting a mother's love truly is.


Mother's Day - 05.13.12
i love viyah and caiah more than i could ever express.
i love every giggle and every twirl, every silly outburst, every springy curl on their head, every new phrase and clever word they string together.... i love every part of them and i love every part of them that is so clearly a part of me!

i understand the sacrifices, the long nights, the messy clothes covered in "baby stuff", the early mornings, the constant cooking and cleaning, the crazy hair, the ability to just go and go and go...
i love my mom so much more because i love my children more than my own life.

that's really what it takes to understand.

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