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on love

2015 will be a year of penning suggestions, prayers, advice for my girls.

on love:

love is not something simple.

love is complex and it is most definitely worth waiting for.
waiting is difficult, but it is necessary because you gain much knowledge and learn many lessons, all the while holding onto your own sense of independence and understanding of your unique place in this world. your daddy says that although it seems incredibly hard to wait for love, once you have it, you will see why it was so important. but, yes, it is hard when you are on the other side.

i can tell you, with all honesty and sincerity, that love from a man is not something that you should be rushing towards; you should not move in that direction until you know your own value and your own worth, not until you understand that you are not defined by this world's standards of beauty or success or belonging.

love can be once in a lifetime and it should be something that you pray about and fight for and work really hard at cultivating and keeping strong once you find it. love is rewarding and challenging.
i truly believe that there is someone special for you, and that person will have all of our love and respect because he will love and respect you.

matters of the heart are not simple matters, and emotions are not something to be toyed with or gambled on, because it can leave lasting effects on those that are left behind or misunderstood or hurt. deliberately taking advantage of someone's affection for you is deceptive and hurtful, and doing it intentionally is very cruel. whether you are the one being hurt or the one doing the hurting, you will feel pain.

many people in your life will be intrigued by your stance, some will mock it, some will be undeniably attracted to you - some will pursue just the idea of you; it seems the more you stay separate, the stronger the world's desire will be for you to join them. try to be honest with yourself and with others when it comes to emotions and expectations. this task of being pure with your intentions and your actions is an extremely difficult one, but i really do believe that if you can focus on what is of most value, you will find the strength and the incredible reward that awaits.

you may stumble along your path, but i pray that you always stay on it. everyone makes mistakes and, yes, often, there are consequences and reminders, but there is also Grace. i assure you that i have learned, in my own life, that guarding one's heart is essential to having it whole when the long-awaited moment comes.

a loving marriage is one of the greatest things your daddy and i have ever experienced in this life. i hope that our love for one another has taught you that love can change over the years, and that it evolves, and that it forces us to make hard decisions and to sacrifice and to have faith and trust. marriage requires a level of commitment and devotion i did not even know i was capable of until i met your daddy and truly began to love him and allow him to love me.

my prayer for you is that, if it is time, and  God's plan for you, that you would marry a man who loves you with everything that is in him because he is certain that you are the one for him, that you are the woman he has prayed for and waited for, the one he has desired before he even knew you existed.

my prayer is that he understands how crucial it is for him to lead with devotion and loyalty and purpose, and that he understands that marriage is not just about the basic terms like submission and serving and leading, but is about the type of love that trumps compromise with selflessness and sacrifice.

i pray he is the type of man who appreciates every facet of your personality and sees God's love for him through your presence in his life. i pray he is the type of man who treasures time with you, who is increasingly surprised by your talents and unique personality, who takes the initiative to find new ways to bring a smile to your face, who loves discovering new things about you, even after years of being together.

i pray that he sees marriage as a calling, as an adventure and a partnership, as romantic and lovely and whimsical, as an opportunity to fulfill a mission, as his life's joy, as his greatest chance to create happiness for the person God has chosen for him,  as a true vow and testament to a deep promise, and not as a thankless burden.

your concept of what you need and what you desire may change and shift with each phase of life. i hope that one component that stays consistent is your prayer for a strong man who knows his role and his purpose, someone who has devoted himself to God's will for his life. there is a certainty in that, there is a component that lends itself to honesty, loyalty, and faithfulness.

you see, my beautiful girls, your body is a temple and your heart is a treasure. i dream that you hold tight to these truths and that you allow this knowledge to guide you. when you are ready, you will experience a loving relationship.

do your best, sweet girls, to remember these words, your mama's prayers for you, and your confidence, purpose, and beauty. always remember how incredible a gift your love will be when you share it with someone.... believe that when you are in a committed and God-centered relationship, you will experience a love that is beyond what you have read in fairy tales and seen in movies. it is fulfilling and satisfying and it lasts forever... it is worth the wait.

i know this to be true.

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