conversations.

i find myself thinking a lot about the condition of this world, of this nation, and of the hearts of man.

 i just open my eyes and really look around or open my ears to truly listen, and i cannot help but face the reality of evil. the reality of corruption. the reality of prejudice. the reality of inequality. the reality of bigotry. the reality of entitlement. the reality of self-righteousness. the reality of immorality. the reality of sin.

i have struggled with the presence of these realities for a significant part of my life, and  maybe to some degree for all of my life. but now i struggle with them beyond my identity as a woman, or a child of immigrants, or an educator, or an indian-american, or a Christ follower.

i struggle with these harsh realities as a mother.
you see, we are trying our hardest to raise three people who will one day change their world.
i believe that they can, and i pray that they will.

these three little girls have hope in their souls and eternity in their hearts.

they believe in kindness and love and forgiveness. they believe that everyone wants the same world they choose to see. they see a world that is filled with opportunity and freedoms and equality.

on a deeper level, and yet at the most basic level, they see a world in which racism is a thing of the past, the cycle of poverty is not enforced through institutionalized oppression, and the cards are not systematically stacked against some due to factors beyond their control. they see a world in which those who work hard and work honestly really do get ahead, or at least recognized, or at least valued. they see the world we want.

after the events unfolded in virginia and north carolina, i felt unsettled in new ways. and so i knew that bits and pieces of hard conversations that we have already had needed to be brought up again. we took a long walk this morning, and for the first time i used the words "racism" and "bigotry" with my children. those words are heavy and they are hard to come back from. their awareness has now forever changed.

i told them about my first day in third grade at a new school. i told them about wanting to make new friends and the excitement of being in a new place. i told them about the sweet-faced boy who boldly turned to me and said, "go back to where you came from."


i told them that though they cried over the story of ruby bridges and cheered for how far we have come, there are still stories that exist. there are still rallies in which large groups of people jeer and chant and gloat over an ideology of abuse and disrespect, a belief founded on false superiority and real insecurities. i had to tell them. i don't want to talk about these things with my young children. but i have to. these conversations must be had.

we talked about the need to love all people and to show kindness even in hard times.
i assured them that true Christianity calls us to be near to the broken-hearted and to lift the oppressed...we are called to be better.

we also talked about knowing our value and our rights. true Christianity calls us to speak out for justice and to stand for truth...we are called to be stronger.

i have been disenchanted by many people in the Church who have refused to denounce current evils or speak against self-serving rhetoric because of a certain agenda. i have been disappointed by many who will not speak out for those who are wrongfully persecuted and shamed, regardless of race or creed.

but i am encouraged by those who do. because there are always people who do.
in the Church and out of the Church, people are uniting to stand for the beauty of equality and opportunity. they choose to stand for the beauty of inalienable rights. they fight for the beauty of life and freedoms and joy.



i know we can do better, not just for ourselves, and this generation, but for the future that dances in the eyes of our children...the flickering flames of peace and progress that can be seen when they catch the Light.