Skip to main content

fear. faith. faithful.

tuesday was supposed to be a peaceful day. the girls and i were meeting up with friends for a small picnic.
we were enjoying a light lunch with watermelon and sammies and pita and hummus.
we were laughing, playing, admiring our children and appreciating the summer.

suddenly viy is on the ground. in my arms. not responding entirely. her eyes roll back. i feel her limp. shallow breathing. she is so small and helpless, crumpled here in my embrace.

i do not cry. i cannot cry. my friends are there to help in any way. i somehow talk through a 911 call. i talk to my hubby. i am approached by officers; i try to explain that my baby is going in and out of consciousness... for what seems like forever followed by an eternity. i tell cai that her sissy is fine. i tell viy that everything is fine; Jesus is with her. i see the ambulance.
my hero... so strong

i am fearful, but i hold tight to my faith. i pray to a faithful God.

i do not know how i did not break down and sob, but i know that my prayers were heard. my heart was heavy, but the beats were hollow echoing against cai's high-pitched screams. i waited for viyah to cry.

i waited for God to look, to move, to comfort.

in the ambulance, caiah prayed for her sister too. and when viyah came to, she asked to sing "oh no, You never let go / through the calm and through the storm / oh no, You never let go/every high and every low"...

 at such a young age, my girls know who to call on.

the paramedics, the nurses, the physician's assistant, and the pediatrician have all been amazed by viy. 
and, for what seems like the millionth time, i am amazed by a God who loves and sustains and cares.
i am amazed by His faithfulness in every situation.  and i am grateful for every incredible blessing He has given me.


reminded of my faith, whether calm or through a storm, every day is peaceful.


after the hospital... enjoying a muffin, together

indoor picnic... for now!


Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

gratitude

my short list. i am thankful for God's Love: a Love that is too sacrificial and too remarkable for my human heart to fully contain... and for a Grace and Hope that is too divine and illogical and limitless for my human mind to even begin to fathom. i am thankful for a strong, stubborn man who loves our family with every ounce in him, understanding my quirks and weaknesses, while encouraging me through his quiet gestures and his commitment to responsibility and love.  i am thankful for two little girls -- fierce and loyal and strong-willed and tough and still soft around the edges... for the incredible joy of watching them grow and the unique love that i get to receive and offer daily.  i am thankful for the littlest one being formed in my womb, for the suspense and the excitement and anxiety that she brings with each turn and kick and movement and heartbeat... and for the incredible opportunity to, once again, nurture and carry a child for these months of intima...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Most Beautiful Mama

My mama has always been beautiful. It is a beauty that is natural and effortless and is the type of beauty that filled my heart with longing when I was a child. I can recall staring at how flawless the even color of her skin was, how adorable the few freckles were on her cheeks, how symmetrical her nose was. I remember thinking how absolutely perfect she looked in a sari, her pleats folded so pristinely, and the tuck of material into her waist seamless and smooth.   I would often feel the softness of my mother’s hands. Hands that had delicate fingers that moved with precision and purpose. Hands that kneaded chapati dough and even held tight to a lawn mower. No matter what she did, her hands were always soft, always welcoming, always beautiful. But she never liked to focus on her own physical beauty. My mother’s true beauty comes from within.  I understood certain aspects of this inner beauty when I was a child. The beauty that comes from her servant’s heart and her wor...
Post a Comment
Read more

on love

2015 will be a year of penning suggestions, prayers, advice for my girls. on love: love is not something simple. love is complex and it is most definitely worth waiting for. waiting is difficult, but it is necessary because you gain much knowledge and learn many lessons, all the while holding onto your own sense of independence and understanding of your unique place in this world. your daddy says that although it seems incredibly hard to wait for love, once you have it, you will see why it was so important. but, yes, it is hard when you are on the other side. i can tell you, with all honesty and sincerity, that love from a man is not something that you should be rushing towards; you should not move in that direction until you know your own value and your own worth, not until you understand that you are not defined by this world's standards of beauty or success or belonging. love can be once in a lifetime and it should be something that you pray about and fight for and wo...
Post a Comment
Read more