conversations on mlk jr day

earlier this week, i had individual talks with each of my girls about martin luther king jr's life, his work, and his death. we often revisit his impact on society and the world, and every year their questions become more thoughtful.

we discussed the difficulty of staying confident when those around you disagree with your stance, or what it really means to choose the progress of people over your own individual comfort and safety. we talked a lot about love, of sacrifice, and of walking humbly but living boldly.

these conversations -- in which we celebrate the work done by mlk jr and the civil rights movement, and in which we listen to speeches and respond with smiles and tears and head nods, and in which we thank God for the divine service -- these conversations are beautiful and significant. 

but there are many hard parts to these conversations also.

there is the part that must acknowledge deep division and hatred among people. i cannot simply say "that is how it used to be" to calm my children because i know that this evil still exists today. my girls cannot be ignorant of prejudice or of hatred because they should be cognizant of the reality and know that they, too, will probably experience it. they need to recognize it to fight it.

the conversation about mlk jr also lends itself to deeper ideas that have to do with injustice in this world, bad things happening to "good" people, and violence in our society. do i try to shield my children from much of the horrific realities of our present-day society? of course i do. but should i also welcome the beginning stages of dialogue that address a complex history of difference, indifference, hatred, love, violence, and peace? i believe i must. because when we choose to have conversations about all the good that was done, we have to bring awareness of where the need for the good began.

it is not easy to see the nervous energy in their eyes, or to watch them contemplate why "people can be so bad", or to witness their sudden holding of hands and hugging when we get to the assassination of one of the most sincere, charismatic, and eloquent figures in history.

 their bedtime prayers change the nights we talk about these events. they pray for peace and for love, for the hearts of man to embrace kindness, and they pray for their own strength to do what is right in the face of all that is wrong.

yes, the world is not perfect, and our history as a people is marred.
there are stories of pain and sadness, inequality, destruction, fear, and even death.

but there are spirituals, hymns, choruses, and lives lived in pure poetry that testify to the faith and determination, progress, hope, and life that spring forth when we decide we have the power to lead with love and change the world.

so let's have the hard conversations.
let's make the hard choices.
let's go change the world.